Saturday, January 29, 2011

Which came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.  The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out.  The egg mutters to no one in particular, "I guess we answered that question."
 ~Author Unknown

After I wrote my last blog on the beginning of my sexual history, it really got me thinking about my entire history. . . the truth is it began before I can remember - it does for all of us.  My first vivid memory was very young - the neighbor boy kissed my cheek during a game of hide and seek. :)

As a mother, I have delt with so many uncomfortable sexual situations from questions about body parts to masturbation to "where do babies come from" and periods to "Why does so and so have 3 mommies". . . but today was a first for me - the question of boy/girl sleepovers (under age 10).  I am a complete realist and I know that even kids who are just friends play the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" game, if not more.  However, realism doesn't equate to easy decision making!  My question is, does it really matter what gender sleepovers are?  Does sexual experimentation take place regardless? Which came first, experimentation with friends or lovers?  

Think about your first sexual experience (whatever that means to you. . . ), try to remember how you felt, what you were thinking, how you felt afterward . . . What was the impact of this experience on your long term sexuality?

These questions seem simple but in truth it is someone akin to the old adage about the chicken and the egg. . . Which came first?  It is inevitably impossible to know for certain the impact of any experience on one's perception of sex and sexuality . . . the answer to the question is perpetually evasive.